Developing your mediumship skills takes time, patience, and practice. As you develop, there are some common pitfalls that you will want to avoid, and sometimes may even find are offered by mediumship development instructors.  That’s not to say their advice is wrong, but it may not always be a good fit for you. Let’s look at these potential pitfalls and why they might take you in the “wrong direction!”

Pitfall #1 – You believe it has to be done a certain way.

While I believe that those who provide mediumship instruction have good intentions, the real truth is that what works for them may not work for others. Yes, there are some universal aspects to traditional mental mediumship, but believing it has to be done “this way” or “that way” isn’t always what’s best for everyone.

Don’t put yourself in a box. Let Spirit work with you and guide you to your own unique process. For example, my initial mediumship emerged through writing in a Q&A conversational style. Some people find that artistic endeavors are where they are led. If you have the inclination to draw, paint, doodle, or sketch spirits, then start here. Maybe you enjoy using Intuitive Decks. If so, then find several that work for you and start to use them in your development (as a training tool only) . Maybe you want to meditate or pray or just sit in nature. Great! Do that.

It’s fun to take classes and learn new Psi techniques and skills. In fact, I encourage it. It let’s you meet people of similar interests and to stretch your abilities, but don’t think you have to do it the same as everyone else. That defeats the purpose of you being a unique and special individual.

Pitfall #2 – You believe you need a Sitter to make a connection. 

Mediumship commonly involves a sitter who desires to connect to a loved one, as a result, we tend to think of mediumship as being a direct function of the medium/sitter/spirit connection. However, we need to remember that sometimes a sitter is not a part of the process. Instead, it may simply be about the medium/spirit connection. Let’s look at some examples.

Drop-in communicators, or “pop-ins” as I like to call them, may come in with the intent of simply bringing forth a personal message. Granted, we may like a sitter to be present because when we are developing, this helps us to get validation for our impressions and to be sure we are in the ‘psi-receptive zone.’ But remember, connecting with our guides, our personal loved ones, and any other spirit is all still mediumship.

Drop-in communicators may also show up for someone you haven’t met yet or for someone you know but who has not asked for a reading. These pop-in spirits may have important words of wisdom or lessons for someone you know, so even if you don’t have a sitter and/or can’t validate anything about who they are, that doesn’t mean the spirit doesn’t have a personal need to reach out to you.

Another reason for a Drop-In Communicator may be just to let the spirit practice with you. This may seem silly, but just because a person dies doesn’t mean they are suddenly an outstanding spirit communicator. Some spirits seem to be more adept than others, and just as we like to practice and develop, so do some of them. Remember, mediumship is not just service to the living but also service to those in spirit.

Be open to spirits (within your personal safety boundaries) even when a sitter is not present. As a medium, your connection with the spirit world is also for you and for the spirits who reach out to you.

Pitfall #3 – You believe evidence only comes in the form of a list of facts.

Evidence is a crucial must in successful mediumship – both for the sitter and for the medium. Without evidence the sitter can’t validate the messages or identify the loved one sharing those messages. For the medium, we need evidence to ensure we are in the ‘psi-receptive zone’ and that we aren’t subject to cold-reading, sitter bias, and/or generalities.

Evidence matters and must be present, however, we also need to realize that evidence can be more than just a laundry list of facts and data about the spirit. Yes, names, dates, physical descriptions, hobbies, career choices, education, manner of death, and the other facts about a person’s life do matter. It is impressive to get these details and helps identify the spirit communicator, but don’t get boxed in and think that this stuff all you need.

Evidence also includes emotions, stories, mannerisms, and personality. I recall one female spirit who said that she ‘smoked like a chimney, drank like a fish, and cussed continuously.’ The family laughed and said, “That’s her.” Sometimes evidence comes in funny forms, so don’t get locked into what it looks like. The spirit knows how to help you, so just listen and pay attention. You can ask them questions and for certain facts and details, but they often have better evidence to deliver than you might be capable of asking for, and it may involve something more than just a list of “stuff.”

Pitfall #4 – You believe you need to control the flow & dominate the conversation.

Some people, like myself, have a personal psi style that likes to swoop in and assess a situation and then to psychically dominate the process. I call this psi-retrieval and will address it in another post. There’s nothing wrong with this style, especially when doing more traditional psychic type sessions where you are connecting directly with your client’s personal energy, but when it comes to mediumship, we don’t want to control the flow of information or dominate the conversation – we want to listen and allow it to happen. I call this psi-receiving and it is a very different process than psi-retrieval.

Some people do very well at psi-receiving, as it has a more relaxed and laid back listening/receptive style, while others find it more difficult. I believe this is due to the nature of our unique personalities. For example, some people are just good listeners while others are just big talkers, and I suspect that many of us carry these traits into our psi functioning. What we need to remember however, is that mediumship is about listening/receiving and allowing the spirit to do the work as opposed to utilizing psi-retrieval which has is a more proactive approach for gaining psi information.

This final fourth concept may be a bit more complex than some of the others, but as you begin to develop you will start to notice that mediumship involves the fine art of tuning in and letting the spirit give you the information as opposed to you needing to go out and retrieve it. That’s not to say you can’t do this when the spirit is present but often spirit knows what to say and do so it’s best just to let them do all the psi-communication.

So, take a look at these four potential pitfalls and see if you’re caught in any of them in your current stage of development. If so, removing them from your process may go a long way in helping you to gain a better connection

Cheers & Wellness,

Carol