I address this question to help clients, a.k.a. sitters, look for signs that ensure a medium is really communicating with your loved one and not just talking about them.

Most well-developed mediums know when they are talking with a Spirit versus when they are talking about a spirit. One process involves communication with your loved one and is a conversation – it is receptive in nature. The other process is more akin to reading a book about your loved one and involves the retrieval of information.

I share this not to confuse you, but to be sure you recognize that a medium should be communicating and not just describing. Yes, they will need to provide information in order to give you evidence and to help identify who is coming through for you, but with mediumship, there are some additional elements that you can look for.

The first element is that your loved one will Recognize and Acknowledge things about your current life or the life of others. For example, they may mention that you or another family member is suffering, struggling, received a promotion, had a birthday, got married, or are enduring an illness. These are things that your loved one in spirit wishes to acknowledge so that you know they are still aware and connected to you. Granted, a psychic can also pick these up about you. However, in mediumship, these situations tend to come across in a conversational style – not just as a statement of a fact. For example, a psychic might say, “You had a birthday or I see balloons around you,” while a medium might say, “Your father is wishing you a happy birthday and is aware of your recent celebration.”

The second element of a mediumship session is that there should always be Positive Messages. These will most likely include things such as ‘I love you’ or ‘I am safe and well,’ so don’t brush these off no matter how small they might seem. They are to be expected, but that shouldn’t diminish their value. In addition to these more common messages there should also be other more specific and in-depth messages. These may include ‘I am sorry’ or ‘thank you for doing this or that for me’ or ‘I am so proud of you.’ Messages are a hallmark of mediumship, so be sure you don’t become impressed with a long list of evidence and forget that it’s the messages that really matter.

A third element of mediumship that is especially common for me is providing you with Support, Advice, & Wisdom. For example, I had a departed father come through for his daughter and offer her advice on how she could help her kids. There was ample evidence about the personality and nature of the children which was then followed by suggestions for helping her to deal wit their two very different styles. The daughter was very grateful saying the advice made perfect sense for each of her children.

Since your loved one is aware of your current life situation, as well as your past and potentially your future, they tend to want to provide help. As a result, they may want to offer wisdom and advice to assist you on your life’s journey. But remember, just because they are deceased doesn’t always mean their advice is in your best interest. Yes, they tend to see things with a different perspective and so it would be prudent to consider their words, but in the end, you have to decide what is right for you. Don’t be swayed just because your departed loved one has told you to do something.

A fourth element that is common in mediumship is what I call Post-Life Self-Awareness. For example, your loved one may start to explain why they made the choices they made in their life or perhaps to talk about their childhood. I often have departed parents who talk about their relationship with their parents and this then helps explain some of their life choices. Post-life self-awareness may also involve clarity and meaning for one’s life struggles or perhaps even an indication of what they are doing now.

Whatever it is, this type of information involves seeing life from the perspective that only comes after death. It is important for you as the Sitter to realize that this may not always be something you can validate. If, however, the medium has given you plenty of good solid evidence and you are certain they have your loved one, then this information is often extremely healing and transformational because it will allow you to understand your loved one’s life struggles and choices and current state of mind. As your loved one, they want you to offer you clarity and peace of mind by sharing their post-life self-awareness.

So to sum it up, evidence in the form of descriptions, feelings, life events, and personality are all extremely important and should always be present. However, at some point these descriptions should give way to what really matters – sharing messages with you. And remember, many of those messages may also serve as evidence. For example, I once had a departed mother who expressed that she was dancing and playing the piano again – something she loved to do in life but in her later years was unable to do.

Your mediumship session should include most, if not all, of the above elements, so be on the lookout for them. If they are not present, don’t hesitate to ask the medium questions.

You should also feel free to ask a medium how they know when they are communicating with a spirit versus knowing about them. It will be different for every medium so don’t expect the same answer from each of them, however, every medium should still be able to clearly explain to you how they know the difference. Some see the spirit, some feel their presence, and others just know.

A final note before I close. Just because an Intuitive Practitioner of any kind can give you a long list of details about your loved one doesn’t mean it is merely psychic information. It is still possible that they could be connecting with your departed loved one.

For example, some mediums are highly skilled at providing outstanding evidence and highly accurate descriptions and details while delivering few messages. This is sometimes what a sitter needs in order to believe that what is happening is real.

On the other hand, the person giving you the facts and info may not yet be developed or experienced enough to offer more than some initial impressions, so don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater. Keep an open mind!

There’s a fine line between mediumship and general psychic information but at least knowing what to look for in the above elements can be a helpful guide.

Cheers & Wellness,

Carol