I wanted to share a lovely insight that came through during a mediumship connection for my childhood friend Anne. During one of our frequent casual chats, Kathi, a previous coworker os Anne’s showed up. Kathi is deceased. I never knew Kathi, nor in my years of friendship with Anne had Kathi’s Spirit ever presented herself to me. As a result, I gave ample evidence to ensure Anne could properly identify the spirit. These evidential details are personal and not relevant to this post, but what I do have permission to share is something important Kathi expressed about her life. Anne and I both found it insightful and poetic.

While alive, Kathi experienced several abusive relationships that plagued her throughout her years. Although Kathi expressed these challenges to me from beyond the grave, she was quick to express that she was not complaining or feeling sorry for herself. She also clearly stated that while these challenges existed for her, she also had good things about her life. In other words, she recognized both the good and the bad about her life.

When chatting with a spirit I am always curious why they chose their specific life challenges, so I asked Kathi why she had chosen to engage in these various difficult relationships. Her reply was that they were meant to help her learn about compassion.

Now at first glance this made little sense to me. How does one learn compassion in the face of abusive relationships? Kathi worked in a job that required her giving compassion to others, so I understood how giving compassion helped her to learn, but how could abusive scenarios create some greater awareness of compassion?

That’s when she opened my eyes and said, “We understand compassion not only when we give it, but even more so when we receive it.”

Kathi indicated that this simple concept is why it is so important that we give compassion, or even love or kindness, to people who are not exhibiting these traits. There are some people in this world who simply have never had the experience of compassion, love, kindness, or even forgiveness. So how is it that we can expect them to even know what these things are unless they have the experience of receiving them? By giving these to others, we allow them to ‘receive’ and therefore ‘experience’ the awareness of these higher emotional states – states that are perhaps foreign to them and yet so desperately needed.

Kathi indicated that by being in these abusive situations, she was setting herself up to ‘receive’ the compassion and kindness of others. In this way, she could learn about compassion not just from the perspective of giving it, but also from the perspective of what it felt like to need it and to be its recipient.

Sadly, Kathi also admitted that she typically did not allow people to assist her or allow them to give her the compassion she should have accepted. For her part, she often missed out on receiving these valuable gifts by refusing to be more vulnerable. Certainly there were people she trusted who offered her compassion, but she rarely spoke of her troubles with others. In her need to appear strong and capable and not to burden those around her, she did not solicit outside help. In this way, Kathi learned about compassion from a lack of it in her life. Not because it wasn’t available to her, but because she did not allow it to be a part of her life.

With her physical life now over, she looked back at these experiences and realized how the need for compassion enhanced her understanding of it. From this place of need she could better understand the power that compassion plays in someone’s life. Granted, she had this insight and growth after her physical life was done, but remember, she admitted that she could have chosen to experience more compassion within the physical life had she allowed it. We always have the choice on how we handle a situation, so let Kathi’s words impact you and take stock in how you may not be embracing the emotional states you need from others. It is just as important to receive compassion, love, and kindness as it is to give it, and even more importantly, to give it in the face of someone else’s anger, resentment, defiance, and hatred. I believe this is something Jesus tried to teach us and to which Kathi eluded through her own life lessons.

Cheers & Wellness,

Carol

Photo by Külli Kittus on Unsplash