When looking to get fit, improve nutrition, or enhance physical well-being, people often turn to the experts to develop a successful approach. While this is beneficial, the one thing we need to remember is to find the right personal approach. This means that no matter what an expert might say is best, their advice might actually have the reverse effect for you. This sets us up for failure and disappointment. What this post addresses is the need to listen to our bodies, but also to be ready and willing to face the struggle that every healing route encounters.  

Having personally spent years dealing with Chronic Fatigue and finding no resolution with Western medicine, I was an avid seeker for answers and solutions for regaining my health. I read countless books from some amazing fitness experts. Each expert was healthy, lean, and fit – something I desperately longed to be (again). I would try their techniques and make all the suggested efforts, but I kept meeting with failure. Needless to say, I was devastated and blamed myself for being weak and for failing. After all, those experts made it all seem so simple.  

What I eventually started to realize was that most (not all) of these experts had not started from a place of being unwell. Each had started from a place of relative health. The problem with this strategy is that for those of us who are not well, we aren’t typically dealing with a healthy or strong body. This means, that in order for certain aspects of the expert’s advice to even become applicable, we need to already be in a place of neutral well-being. In other words, much of the advice makes the assumption that we have a body that is capable of adapting and making the suggested changes. Sadly, this isn’t always the case so it doesn’t always work.

Now, I am not about to downplay the role of those amazing experts who are absolute health advocates and role models. I’ve learned from all of them and so should you, but ultimately, we also need to look at ourselves first and be honest with where we are, and, with what we can and are willing to do.

Here’s another example.

We get pounded with the idea that in order to be healthy we need to exercise, exercise, exercise. We think joining a gym and walking off the pounds is somehow going to make us slim and suddenly feel amazing. For some this might be the case, but for others, this may not be an advisable course of action. I personally used to beat myself up for always being so tired and for not exercising. When I did exercise, my energy was so poor it would take me a week to recover. Instead of listening to my body, I would allow my brain to tell me that I was lazy and weak. As a result, I would push even harder, forcing the fitness into my life until eventually I would be so low on energy that all I could do was sit and be a vegetable. The advice to exercise for someone who is dealing with chronic fatigue is the opposite of what we should be doing – at least at the onset of healing.

I don’t share this example to say that the same will be true for you. I share this to enlighten you to the fact that beating yourself up for not being able to do something a health expert suggests is not the proper course of action for achieving physical well-being. If you are already in a state of poor nutrition, health, or even in a state of disease or illness, then the classical ‘eat right, exercise, and get plenty of sleep’ advice may simply not be enough – and clearly it isn’t since so many people are still struggling with their physical health.  

So what can you do?

First, you have to start with where you are now – today.

Second, you have to be realistic about what you can actually accomplish now – today.

If our bodies are in a state of disrepair and ill health then it’s going to take some time to make those changes. Any do-it fast diet or jump right into the gym and get working-out may actually set you backwards – all depending on what you are presently dealing with.

Granted, this is common sense to take it slow, but I’m not sure we are always thinking straight. I know that I wasn’t. I kept trying to do all the things the health experts were advising, only to find myself getting worse rather than better.

This also applies to eating certain foods. For example, many of the ketogenic diets are advocates of coconut, nuts, and even avocados. While deemed ‘healthy’ – and therefore I kept eating them – these foods actually had adverse effects for me. By taking out these ‘healthy’ foods, I personally fared far better. That’s not to say this will be true for you, but it might!

We have to learn to listen to our bodies and not beat ourselves up when things are not working. There is no ‘one-size-fits-all’ when it comes to physical health, or for anything else in life for that matter. We are each unique beings with unique challenges, unique needs, unique skills, and unique reactions. As a result, you need to learn to honor yourself, your body, and your physical well-being – not try to fit some mold.

There is one caveat that I have to address here though and that is the real challenge that comes from seeking health. We need to think of our physical challenges as being like a deep well or hole. Most likely we dug our hole by making some less than ideal life choices. That’s not to say everyone who is unwell is to blame. Things do happen to us that our out of our control, but it’s what we do in the face of those situations that either makes us dig a hole or instead, build a mountain.

In other words, you’re either digging or building! You’re either falling down or climbing out…

When we do find ourselves in a hole – whether through bad choices or life circumstances – we have to reach the point where we’ve finally decided we are ready to climb out and start to build a mountain. No one can do this for you – which is why the true power of healing and change lies within. At some point we have to look around, realize we’ve been digging, and then decide to look up. When we look up, we realize we want health and something more for our lives. It is here where we’re finally ready to make the change.   

However, once we have made that decision, we can’t simply begin at ground level and start building-up our mountain. Since we’re actually standing down inside of our hole, we first have to climb up to the ground level before we can begin to build a mountain that well-being.

It is this climbing out of the hole where most of us fail – myself included.

It sucks to be in that deep dark hole. Sometimes we look up at the light and know we want out, but the climb is so far up that we feel too exhausted to try. Maybe we start the climb upwards, but find after a while that the climb is just too much for us. As a result, we slip back into our hole and do our best not to dig any deeper. Nevertheless, we’re still in a pit of ill health.

Regardless of where we are in our pit of ill-health, the climb out is honestly just going to suck. For example, maybe we ate sugar, drank sodas or red bulls, or maybe even drank or smoked. These are all things that have dug us into our hole, so when we stop using any of these items it’s gonna hurt. We’ll have withdrawals, cravings, and probably aches and pains as our body finally begins to detox. This isn’t pretty, so most people fall back into that hole again, too defeated by the attempt to climb out.

I won’t lie – it takes real perseverance and effort to get to ground zero again – but it also takes time. It doesn’t happen overnight or in one week or even in one month. Sometimes it can take years! That often feels like failure but it’s merely us needing to continue to forge ahead and to make that upward climb.

Recognizing the pain of when you are climbing out of your well versus when you are still digging is a clear thing you need to be able to discern. Not to mention, healing and the climb out generally is not a straight up-hill climb. Often we make progress, then fall back a bit before moving upwards again.

So what does this post attempt to help you realize?

1 – If you are seeking physical wellness, then most likely you are in some type of a pit that’s going to require your effort to get out of – even if that pit was not of your own digging or choosing.

2 – If you aren’t really ready to make the climb up and to endure the hardships of that climb, then the best you can do is at least stop digging yourself into a deeper hole.

3 – We often want health experts & advocates and even doctors to simply throw us down a rope or ladder so that we can easily climb out of our hole, but that isn’t how it works. You have to do the work, so be ready to make that commitment. However, this doesn’t mean you have to do it alone.

4 – Doctors and health advocates can be very helpful in your climb, but they are actually at the top of your pit shouting down at you with words of encouragement and advice. Some of that advice may or may not work for you. This is because they are not actually down in your pit with you. They don’t always know the real challenges you’re facing in order to set yourself free. Work with their advice, but also realize it may not fit for you. Learn what is helpful but also learn to ask for new information and advice when you’re stuck. You’re the one making the climb, not them, so you must remain proactive.

5 – Friends and the support of those who have experienced the same kind of pit are a great resource, so reach out and embrace that support. While they can’t get you out, they can be a real asset to your journey. They can provide love, encouragement, understanding, and perhaps even share their own tips and techniques for getting out of their pit. These may prove just the things you need to help you on your upward climb.

6 – A Higher Power is really the only one in the well with you! As a result, use this resource often. Prayer, guidance, support, and insight should all be sought from the Higher Source of your choosing. You can even ask to be healed and then allow Divine intervention to help you up. It may not get you all the way out of your pit, but it certainly might be a real booster. And if you don’t believe in any form of Higher Power (like myself when I began my healing journey) then I have to ask, what do you have to lose by reaching out anyway? You might just be surprised with what happens…I know I was!

Not let’s get out of that well so we can get on to building our mountain!

Cheers & Wellness,

Carol

Image by Alexas_Fotos from Pixabay